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Rico Slade Will Fcking Kill You

Bradley N. Sands Þ 0 download

Grandmothers and Midwestern touristsAs Rico Slade leaves Hollywood in ruins the only person who can stop him from destroying the city is his Jewish psychologist Harold Schwartzman Until he does Rico Slade will kill as many people as it takes to thwart Baron Mayhem's evil scheme Rico Slade will fucking kill everyoneRICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOUPraise for the bookA one man Expendables wrecking crew SUPERHERO NOVELSRico Slade can grab Chuck Norris by a wrist and an ankle and use him as a jump rope If you're looking for some well crafted literary mayhem that entertains and pleases in eual degrees this is the book for you THE AUSTIN POSTAnd though brilliant and vastly intelligent it should also be noted that Bradley Sands is a dick CRACKEDCOMIf you like violence If you. Rico Slade will do a double flip and a handstand before he rips your throat out Then he will land perfectly on his size 22 feet without messing a hair on his perfect pompadour Outfitted in leather bondage pants and a badass fanny pack headband Rico Slade aka Chip Johnson is out to put a hurting on his rival Baron Mayhem But first he is going to clean up the Baron's apartment Stay out of Rico's way or he will give you deadarm Superheroes do exist You've been warned

summary Rico Slade Will Fcking Kill You

Have a decent sense of humor If you have ever wondered what would happen if Richard Brautigan wrote a 90's action film instead of killing himself in the winter of 1984These are all great reasons to read Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You HOUSEFIRERico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a biting piece of satire on the unreality of Hollywood THE UNDEAD RAT Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is laugh out loud funny full of cheesy dialogue testosterone and can easily be read in one sitting Buy it now or Rico Slade might rip out your fucking throat SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTIONIf Eugene Ionesco had a threesome with two reels of 80s action movies the baby would be this book If you like ridiculous humor with the hands down wildest action you will ever read this is your book ZOMBIEBLOODFIGHT. Bradley Sands is the greatest master of the art of book length reader trolling there is Maybe Bradley Sands is also a genius a master of compelling compulsively readable bizarro fiction Maybe After reading Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You I'm not entirely certain which of these two statements is true but I do know that this is an hilarious hollywood satirising express train of a story and it's damned entertainingRico Slade is a Hollywood action hero a macho throat ripping unstoppable and slightly homoerotic Arnie type The actor that plays him is balding has a lot of issues and leads a life that is largely a lie He's no hero in any sense until his sanity cracks and his Rico Slade persona takes over sending him on a weird gross and LOL worthy rampage through LA in search of his on screen nemesis Baron MayhemThis isn’t a perfect story It’s pacy but all over the place It’s compelling but full of random weird bits that sometimes don’t uite compute I couldn’t entirely shake the feeling that the entire book is some sort of extended prank on the reader None of this really matters though Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a wild kinetic ride and pure fun to read At ninety nine pages you could knock this book off in a single session and it’s well worth doing soThe ending comes up pretty uickly and was a little unsatisfying until I considered it within the context of the whole story Like the rest of Sand’s book the I think about it the I’m convinced that Rico Slade is actually light on the trolling and rich with bizarre memorable genius

read & download ´ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Þ Bradley N. Sands

What the crap is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing on the cover of Rico Slade's book This is Rico Slade's goddamn book Rico Slade is not a body builder an actor or a governor Rico Slade is an action hero Rico Slade doesn't care about the political climate Rico Slade has an advance degree in badassery Rico Slade's favorite food is the honey roasted peanut Rico Slade can rip out a throat with his bare hands But Rico Slade's arch nemesis Baron Mayhem is threatening to drop a bomb on the Earth that will kill every human being except himself while leaving the world's currency intact To save the planet Rico Slade must journey across Hollywood to find Baron Mayhem Unfortunately Rico Slade's crime fighting style involves ripping out the throat of anyone who gets in his way including. Here’s the thing about writing a review You can’t curse in it if you want to post it The corporate overlords at are puritanical thought police They might even censor this review for calling them puritanical thought police If Rico Slade was here he’d punch all their heads off their bodies and then say something like ‘die you redacted’ or ‘redact this’ or even ‘suck my redacted you redactedredacted’ Rico Slade likes to drop F bombs in casual conversation every now and then Rico Slade fights for what’s right He’d have none of this censorship nonsense If Rico Slade were writing this review it’d be all nudity and violence and profanity and explosions and old lady throat rippingI loved this book All 100 pages of it I sat down and read it in one clip No breaks You know when the last time I did that was Me neither THAT’S how long ago it was Bradley Sands writes this book with a sort of hammer like intensity delivering the story in gunshot short chapters which totally works for this particular type of madness We breeze through scenes of over the top cartoon violence as if they were the most pedestrian of acts And as our unreliable protagonist action movie star Chip Johnson who believes he is his most famous character Rico Slade continues to lose his mind we are treated to him cutting a swath of destruction across the city that may or may not be as bad as he describes It paints a surreal picture where fiction and reality blend together in already absurd world It's a helluva lot of funSands' voice is strong in this one Almost as strong as Rico Slade himself That is part of what makes this book so enjoyable to me The single uncompromised manner in which it is conveyed Bradley Sands is the kind of writer who follows his own compass I find it entertaining as helloh wait can I say hell Is that okay BIG BROTHER Or are you gonna blacklist my review for using a naughty word If so I hope you all BURN in H E double hockey sticks you redacted motherredactors


10 thoughts on “Rico Slade Will Fcking Kill You

  1. says:

    A BRIEF INTERVIEW WITH RICO SLADEInterviewer “So Mr Slade how does it feel to be the subject of new book?” Rico Slade Not liking the tone of the uestion Rico Slade rips the interviewer's fucking throat out after punching him in the fucking face a bunch of fucking timesInterview over That is Rico Slade in a nutshell I'm not exactly sure how to review this one other than to say it was exactly what I was hoping it would be plus a bit Before I spray the praise hose all over the place let me get my one and only gripe out of the way by echoing the sentiments expressed by my friend Leathe diner scenecompletely unnecessary it diminished my enjoyment of the book Okay other than that this book was 100 pages of hiliarious over the top satire that manages to be both brilliantly insightful and unabashedly juvenile ATTHESAMETIME Rico Slade is your uintessential caricature of a megaubersuper action hero in the mold of Sylvester Bruce Schwarzenegger complete with sunglasses that never come off a leopard skin jacket zebra skin steel toed SIZE 22 boots and a classic Pompadour in the Elvis Dean Travolta style In other words take the word MACHO put it on a 6 month regiment of raw meat steroids and methamphetamines and you'd still have something that Rico Slade would leave trembling in the corner whimpering for its mama Here’s the wrinkleRico Slade is a character played by actor Chip Johnson Chip unlike Rico suffers from massive insecurity male pattern baldness and is going through a bit of a mid lifer Chip has started having real trouble distinguishing between fact and fiction and now thinks he really is Rico Slade This of course is a big WIN for the reader because violent kick face in your ass superbness soon commences FYIyou can switch “face” and “ass” around in the above description but I think both versions work eually well for this story So while Rico Slade is running around Hollywood ripping out throats tearing out eyeballs karate chopping a woman in the baby door snapping necks and peeing on corpsesohand punchinga bunchoffucking facesa bunchoffucking times Chip Johnson is trying to come to grips with his troubled inner self and long neglected needs which were sacrificed on the altar of action stardom and have remained buried deep inside himRico and Chip are heading for a reckoning Plus this is bizarro fiction so you have your usual cast of “semi” to “way the fuck” off characters including a Chip’s therapist Howard who has an “anti hair” obsession a dwindling client base and a track record for turning patients into serial killers; b Howard’s wife who is threatening to let the world’s entire male population play with her goodies unless Howard buys her some serious “bling” right NOW; and c George Proctor aka Baron Mayhem Chip’s closest friend and Rico Slade’s mortal enemy a clean freak who lives in filth because he hates stereotypes if that doesn’t make perfect sense don’t worry it just means your sane This is “laugh out loud and feel stupid about it” funny with some sharp scathing commentary on the damage people do to themselves by embracing “roles” people thrust on them rather than staying true to who they are 45 starsHIGHLY RECOMMENDED


  2. says:

    Rico Slade's arch nemesis Baron Mayhem is plotting to destroy the Earth and only Rico Slade can stop him Rico Slade embarks on an orgy of destruction to find his arch enemy But what does all this have to do with Chip Johnson the man who plays Rico Slade in countless movies? Can Johnson's psychologist get to him before he gets to the actor who plays Baron Mayhem?Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a hilarious tale about an actor who has snapped and thinks he's the character he's played in countless movies Bradley Sands pokes fun at the exaggerated manliness of action movies while simultaneously crafting an action packed story Rico's tough guy rampage is hilarious if you've ever seen an action movie Poor Harold Shwartzman Rico SladeChip Johnson's psychiatrist is the story's true hero The twist of the truth of Slade's relationship with Baron Mayhem was well doneRico Slade Will Fucking Kill You isn't for everyone though If you don't think people getting their throats ripped out women getting karate chopped in their vaginas people getting urinated upon and tough guy uips are amusing this probably isn't the book for you Otherwise buy this book and be highly entertained or RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU NoteRead my interview with Bradley Sands here


  3. says:

    Here’s the thing about writing a review You can’t curse in it if you want to post it The corporate overlords at are puritanical thought police They might even censor this review for calling them puritanical thought police If Rico Slade was here he’d punch all their heads off their bodies and then say something like ‘die you redacted’ or ‘redact this’ or even ‘suck my redacted you redactedredacted’ Rico Slade likes to drop F bombs in casual conversation every now and then Rico Slade fights for what’s right He’d have none of this censorship nonsense If Rico Slade were writing this review it’d be all nudity and violence and profanity and explosions and old lady throat rippingI loved this book All 100 pages of it I sat down and read it in one clip No breaks You know when the last time I did that was? Me neither THAT’S how long ago it was Bradley Sands writes this book with a sort of hammer like intensity delivering the story in gunshot short chapters which totally works for this particular type of madness We breeze through scenes of over the top cartoon violence as if they were the most pedestrian of acts And as our unreliable protagonist action movie star Chip Johnson who believes he is his most famous character Rico Slade continues to lose his mind we are treated to him cutting a swath of destruction across the city that may or may not be as bad as he describes It paints a surreal picture where fiction and reality blend together in already absurd world It's a helluva lot of funSands' voice is strong in this one Almost as strong as Rico Slade himself That is part of what makes this book so enjoyable to me The single uncompromised manner in which it is conveyed Bradley Sands is the kind of writer who follows his own compass I find it entertaining as helloh wait can I say hell ? Is that okay BIG BROTHER? Or are you gonna blacklist my review for using a naughty word? If so I hope you all BURN in H E double hockey sticks you redacted motherredactors


  4. says:

    Rico Slade will do a double flip and a handstand before he rips your throat out Then he will land perfectly on his size 22 feet without messing a hair on his perfect pompadour Outfitted in leather bondage pants and a badass fanny pack headband Rico Slade aka Chip Johnson is out to put a hurting on his rival Baron Mayhem But first he is going to clean up the Baron's apartment Stay out of Rico's way or he will give you deadarm Superheroes do exist You've been warned


  5. says:

    Shovelmonkey1 fucking read thisShovelmonkey1 read this on the fucking train There was no killing there But if Rico Slade was there he would have fucking killed you Or at least given you a dead armShovelmonkey1 read this and immediately became a fervent convert to the high art of badasseryShovelmonkey1 is now armed with a tuna fish which is not as dangerous as a swordfish but it was the nearest she could get and a bandolier of water balloons hand grenadesShovelmonkey1 has burned her wardrobe of black only clothes and overly high heeled shoes and has replaced them with a uniform of mirrored sunglasses leopard skin jacket vegetarian version and zebra print cowboy boots She believes this makes her look hot to trot but in reality looks like the bastard love child of Bett Lynch and Snake PliskinShovelmonkey1 is now trying to grow a giant pompadour but needs to figure out what one of those is first For the time being she has to make do with owning a giant Labrador insteadShovelmonkey1 will not fucking kill you Nor will she give you a dead arm But she might offer to make you a vegetarian sandwich or give you a sarcastic lookEdit I've just realised that this review tells you very little about the book Oh well


  6. says:

    Bradley Sands will fucking entertain you Because that’s what Bradley Sands does He writes funny books about disturbed movie stars who think they are the action heroes they portray in their movies He writes about these guys doing things like back flipping and throat ripping and catch phrasing and face kicking and other good shit like thatBradley Sands doesn’t care if you laugh or not Bradley Sands doesn’t give a shit about entertaining you He just does it because he’s Bradley Fucking Sands and that’s what happens when he writes a book It entertains you and you laugh Bradley Sands clearly watched a lot of action movies to prepare for writing this book Bradley Sands has definitely seen “Roadhouse” and “The Last Action Hero” and possibly “Action Jackson” though maybe not because that was a obscure Carl Weathers vehicle that came out right around the time “Predator” was made Carl Weathers wasn’t the star of “Predator” but he definitely parlayed his presence in that movie and his turns as Apollo Creed in Rocky I II III and IV into his own headlining role The star of “Predator” was Arnold Schwarzenegger There’s a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger on the cover of Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You which is Bradley Sands’s book Arnold’s hair in the cover shot is on fire which is also how Bradley Sands’s hair was while he was writing this book That’s why Bradley Sands is bald now Perhaps he should have called the book Rico Slade Will Fucking Bald You but probably not because that’s not as funny and too much of an inside joke to be the title of a book But his hair was on fire while he wrote it And he was going Mach 2That’s another reference to an 80s action movie That was from “Top Gun” That movie starred Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer and it was about Navy pilots repressing their homosexual desires for each other by wearing hair gel and sweating a lot and playing volleyball together Neither Arnold Schwarzenegger nor Carl Weathers were in that movie No one as manly as those two or Rico Slade for that matter was in that movie Rico Slade would fucking kill everyone that starred in “Top Gun” Chip Johnson the actor who plays Rico Slade would have loved to be in “Top Gun” but not Rico Slade He would have the flight deck of that Navy aircraft carrier covered with the blood and ripped out throats of “Top Gun” actors because that’s what he does and that’s why you need to read this fucking bookWhy the fuck are you still reading this review and not Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You? That book is way better than this review Go on now Let Bradley Sands fucking entertain you already


  7. says:

    The last few weeks have seen me up to my eyes most nights in motherfcking and slaughter not you understand because Poole has suddenly become a hot bed of naughtiness well at least not down my street but because I have been wading my way through the bleak vision of Balti given us by 'The Wire' Ths is an amazing series of investigations into drug wars corruption and embezzlement all heavily flavoured with cursing shooting and sex in no particular order or proportions and it performed the role of being the perfect preparation for this totally bizarre story of an actor suffering meltdown as his mind loses all anchorage to reality and he is taken over by the violent and bloodthirsty character he plays in assorted films and goes loudly and viciously madOver the course of two evenings in betweeen sampling chapters from a book on birdwatching and a reflection on Rembrandt's ' The Return of the Prodigal ' by Henri Nouwen's I imbibed in large draughts this story The actor drifts in and out of sanity and finds himself in various situations covered in blood and glass and wearing all kinds of bizarre accessories which are inexplicable to his sane persona but make perfect sense to Rico Slade the testosterone enhanced brute who seeks out his arch enemy Baron Mayhem kicking punching and eviscerating his way across HollywoodEach time normality 'recaptures the castle' for the briefest of seconds we are whirled round as the reader to face in the opposite direction and wonder what ever is happening All this time RicoChip is pursued by his psychologist who needs his bills paid so as to be able to buy his nymphomaniacal harridan of a wife the 'bling' that will satisfy her lust for jewellery Meanwhile Baron Mayhem spends the minutes awaiting the appearance of the violent vengeance of Rico Slade cleaning semen stains off his sofadon't even go thereTotally insane and weird Unlikely I shall be indulging in the next Bradley Sands but every reading experience has gifts to offer I suppose and this one did take a line if rather off key on the disintegration of a mind and the bleakness of insanity This came to my attention as one of the classic titles from the shelves of the master of the fabulously off the wall title Dan Schwent I salute him for his ability to collect these wondrous editions but decided to read it on my kindle as I did worry about the corrupting influence an actual book with that title would have on the gentler sensitivities of say a Jane Austen or Henry JamesThe book is very short so never really was in any danger of finding its way onto the not finished shelf This was not just because of its length but also because i got caught up in trying to work out what in the Name of all that's Holy was going on I never really sorted that one of the great unanswered mysteries It shall however join the select band of 'never again' though i do think it would absolutely be the physical book I would want to carry through the drug embattled streets of Balti If anyone dared to approach me with anything but fear and trembling i would whip it out and read a few lines whilst holding the cover for all to see


  8. says:

    Bradley Sands is the greatest master of the art of book length reader trolling there is Maybe Bradley Sands is also a genius a master of compelling compulsively readable bizarro fiction Maybe After reading Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You I'm not entirely certain which of these two statements is true but I do know that this is an hilarious hollywood satirising express train of a story and it's damned entertainingRico Slade is a Hollywood action hero a macho throat ripping unstoppable and slightly homoerotic Arnie type The actor that plays him is balding has a lot of issues and leads a life that is largely a lie He's no hero in any sense until his sanity cracks and his Rico Slade persona takes over sending him on a weird gross and LOL worthy rampage through LA in search of his on screen nemesis Baron MayhemThis isn’t a perfect story It’s pacy but all over the place It’s compelling but full of random weird bits that sometimes don’t uite compute I couldn’t entirely shake the feeling that the entire book is some sort of extended prank on the reader None of this really matters though Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a wild kinetic ride and pure fun to read At ninety nine pages you could knock this book off in a single session and it’s well worth doing soThe ending comes up pretty uickly and was a little unsatisfying until I considered it within the context of the whole story Like the rest of Sand’s book the I think about it the I’m convinced that Rico Slade is actually light on the trolling and rich with bizarre memorable genius


  9. says:

    This was uite the thrill ride Bradley Sands did an awesome job making your stereotypical action star Chip Johnson go nuts and lose his grip on reality while his mind deteriorates blending his action role of Rico Slade with his everyday life Seeing the scene shift from what Rico Slade was doing AKA Chip doing as Rico and then seeing what was really happening from someone elses perspective was downright hilarious not to mention there are awesome chapter titles to bootBradley does a great job of writing action how we imagine action not wordy but not boring just short abrupt face punches that get the point across It definitely is fast paced where at points you can just imagine what happens between scenes because well that doesn't really matter It's very interesting and entertaining and really does get you thinking or rereading what just happened because Rico Slade is uick and unpredictable and what just happened was awesome Good stuff loved it definitely wanna get my hands on another Sands book


  10. says:

    Oh Bradley Sands why the truck stop incident?Okay it would be easy to focus on RICO SLADE said in a deep booming voice but I found Chip Johnson to be the interesting character Watching Chip's mental deterioration was heartbreaking to me even as I laughed at the rest of the book This is another one of those books that I don't want to say too much about for fear of ruining it for those who haven't read it yet I can't imagine anyone reading this and not enjoying some aspect of it It can certainly be read for the humour alone but there's so much to the story than that Definitely recommend


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