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Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

Grace Ann Parsons » 5 Free download

Do you want your little ones to read books; and they want to read the Harry Potter Books; but you do n. I just LEGIT cannot tell if the author is being ironic intentionally funny or if this is a serious attempt of making Christian Harry PotterAnd I don't know which one I want to be true Update SoooI started reading itI think it's serious Ohno

Summary Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

KR's books; but will not lead your children astray For concerned mommies everywhere Blessings Grace An. This fanfiction in my opinion is only second to My Immortal in being the best in the world

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Ot want them to turn into witches Well this is the story for you This story has all the adventure of J. I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS ON GOODREADSBest fan fiction everEDITYou should really check out the dramatic readings of this They're so beautiful This is just art

10 thoughts on “Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

  1. says:

    Okay now that I have your attentionThis book was awful and it was wonderful I simply hope or pray that this book was satire because if it was then APPLAUSE for the hilarity if it's not oof This book to put it simply is a Christian Ha version of Harry Potter and I have seen four year olds write better literatureThere was so so much going wrong The dialogue was clunky and weird There was so so much inconsistency All of the characters were creepily peaceful Also this was such an inaccurate display of Christianity I don't claim to know everything about my religion but even I know this was a forking messOverall this book was just a steaming pile of poorly written oddly creepy bigoted propaganda And now I'd like to share one super weird uote from each chapter to give you an idea about how frickin' bad this book isChapter 1 Aunt Petunia could only stare at him; her big mouth hung open dumbly Here she thought she was so educated; and always demanded that Christians prove what they believed in; but she couldn't even prove her own religion First off that grammar Second evolution isn't a religion? Also there is tons of evidence for it How does this grown woman not know at least one piece of evidence for something we all learned in middle school?Chapter 2 New Horizons No no Harry Aunt Petunia screeched desperately I have an idea You can have a second birthday today You like birthdays right?Birthdays are not of God Harry verbalized knowingly; and looked at his aunt with an innocent wisdom You tried to corrupt me; but it did not work But I forgive you Aunt Petunia; because of Luke 2334 Once again grammar and punctuation But from now on we'll just say that's a givenThe biggest issue with this part is that Harry has just become a Christian within the last five minutes and he's suddenly uoting the bible which he hadn't known existed minutes ago? Yup that makes senseAlso Luke 2334 reads Jesus said “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing”And they divided up his clothes by casting lotsignore that part we don't talk about herThis verse is the most passive aggressive thing ever It's like sorry God about my friends here gosh they're SO embarrassing in their sin OOfFinal note on chapter 2 Dumbledore and McGonagall are husband and wife and Hermoine is their freaking child yikesChapter 3 Dinntertime wtf this chapter title is so creepy Why don't you come with us then Dumbledore cried kindly; and then got down on his knees Everyone else did the same Raising his large massive manly hands up to the heavens Dumbledore bellowed in a voice even louder than Hagrid's had been Lord please take us to the kitchen The dialogue is so weird Who cries kindly? In my mind a cry is loud and emotional whereas kindly implies a peaceful and calmer The two words are contradictory Also I get that the author was trying to replace witchcraft with prayer but it doesn't make any sense This prayer magic hybrid follows zero rules whereas the actual magic in Harry Potter has set rules that make sense I also love how this is supposed to be a God fearing in the sense of Christianity when I say fear I don't mean being afraid I mean having respect or awe school but they just treat God like Alexa HEY GOD TELEPORT ME TO THE DINING HALLHEY GOD WHAT'S THE WEATHER?Chapter 4 Dangerous Days Ahead His brain fumbled for the perfect Christian thing to say; but before he could even manage a word Hermione came to a stop in front of a tall stone towerThis is the boys' dormitory the devout young woman explained kindly; and she gestured to the heavy oak door beside them I would show you inside; but I would hate to cause a scandal Oh yeah Hermoine The author took everything likable about Hermoine actually this author took everything about Hermoine and threw it in the trash and now she is bland annoying and boringAnd she would hate to cause a scandal also oh my word in this chapter Hermoine couldn't as in she was physically unable to open a door but Harry was and I uote a good devout Christian now so he prayed and it freaking opened Oh and Voldemort is introduced in the chapter His evil plan is to get Congress to remove freedom of religion this just I can'tChapter 5 A New Friend? But do they really love the Lord? Harry posited timidly If they do; then why do they worship statues?Dark days are coming Dumbledore replied earnestly We need to be inclusive If there were only Gryffindor Hats at Hogwarts; then there would not be many people left I see Harry conceded uncertainly as he walked back to Ronald's overcrowded table He was getting nervous about this Hat business; but he supposed he did have to trust Dumbledore After all grownups know best right? This chapter I actually was uite fascinated by this chapter mostly because it got semi close to saying something I agreed with but also because it was so contradictory They talked a lot about different denominations of Christianity and Dumbledore almost seemed to be saying Yeah it's cool as long as we have the same core beliefs everything's fine which I could dissect in a whole paper of it's own but we won't go into that now but then Harry is all I'm not sure I trust adults any which was fine but then the chapter ended with verses about children obeying their parents?? It was very strange Chapter 6 Sorting Hats and he began to eat his oatmeal with his hands Why the everloving fk is Ron eating oatmeal with his hands? WHY?And then the chapter goes back to different denominations of religion which went even worse than it did previously Of course I only pray to God Who else would I pray to?What about Mary? Ronald posited angrily around a mouthful of oatmeal You have to at least worship to herYou mean the mommy of Our Lord? Harry demanded in scandal; and he chewed his bacon I don't worship her? YoU MeAn ThE mOmMy Of OuR lOrD?? WHAT?And then Luna Lovegood comes in which didn't make sense because she's not introduced until later with her vegan bacon that was actually just vegetables blended up and died red THEY MADE LUNA LOVEGOOD A HIPPIE YOU GUYSAnd then at the end of the chapter Harry said something about women not being beneath men but that women were just different then men which was like the closet thing so far to being something that I slightly agreed withChapter 7 Wheat and Chaff Thank you Harry Ronald uttered happily He may have been sporting a green and black hat with a snake on it; which testified to his Slytherin beliefs; but he could recognize Harry's pure hearted godliness generosity humility and innocent goodness He looked around at his siblings all of them wearing hats identical to his; and he wondered why none of them were like that Absolutely NO clue why the chapter was titled that Also this chapter continued what the last two chapters had started with different beliefs and all that and it was a complete mess I also loved how Harry literally told God that he was a Gryffindor That's what happened in the real books kind of not really but you get the idea but that action does not fit Harry's character aka placid glassy eyed Christian or the storyAlso Snape has been introduced as Mr Snape Dear god have mercyChapter 8 Refreshing Honesty? Welcome to Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles greeted the older but still handsome in a dignified rugged way amicably First of all ew second of all EWWWW Who described Snap as rugged and handsome EWWWWWWWSTAHP ITTTTTTTAlso this isn't the first time this has happened All the men so far have either been described as handsome or rugged or both there was a whole sentence describing how good looking Dumbledore's hands were Chapter 9 A Letter At Dinner Could I come? Ronald asked tentatively after he had swallowed his brussel sprouts Harry Hermione and Dean Thomas exchanged a knowing look; and then Harry answered kindly Of course you can Wow rudeThis was a very short chapter and I have nothing to say except that this book is ridiculous Chapter 10 Dangerous Days Are Here the instructor of my new writing class was kind enough to proof read it I didn't take all of his suggestions That was taken from the author's note and all I could think when I read that sentence was yOu DiDn'T TaKe hIs SuGgEsTiOnS?? wOw I nEvEr WoUlD hAvE gUeSsEdIn this chapter Voldemort is spotted at Hogwarts but even worse than that is his terrible agenda he's trying to make it illegal to be a Christian homeschool and say Merry Christmas WHAT EVEN?Chapter 11 A Challenge Harry gritted his teeth He had had enough of this So called feminists these days call everything sexist A man respecting his woman and providing for her and giving her the children and home that she truly desires is called woman hating Such silliness can make us forget what real sexism looks like The truth is women are just as smart as men; and God made us as their euals; but eual does not mean the same; and when we treat men and women as being the same and tell women to go to work all day and forget about her true calling as a wife and mother; then that is the real woman hating And then there are people like Draco who think that God messed up and made women worse than men And neither is okay This chapter went from Haha this author is really dumb and horrible at writing to straight up bigotry Before the chapter even started the author went on a rant about Catholics which was unkind and awful And then in the chapter there was a ton of bullshirt about feminism and sexism and it was just uite a big oofAt the end of the chapter Draco got mad at Harry and challenged him to a pray off WHAT THE HECK? And here I thought this book couldn't get any weirder Chapter 12 Harry Dean Thomas and Hermione exchanged a knowing look It wasn't Ronald's fault It was just how he had been raised Slytherin Hats do not usually uestion authority They think they just need to do what the head Slytherin Hats tell them to do They never think that maybe the Lord's work is important We have a lot to dissect from this chapter Firstly now the author is saying that it's okay to disobey authority if you believe it's the Lord's work which is so very contradicting what had been said earlier Also this uote That's right Dean Thomas said wisely and not a single word was mispronounced He had dressed uite respectably for the occasion His face was scrubbed uite cleanly Any mommy would be proud to have him for her son Not a single word was mispronounced? Hmm maybe that was because he said two words both of them being monosyllabic Also his face scrubbed uite cleanly? That just sounds wrong and weird And finally Harry made Draco a Gryffindor because just becauseChapter 13 A Visitors to Hogwarts Ronald was next in line Tears were streaming down his face and his nose was running down to his chin He wiped his face with a big freckled hand He stuck out the other one for Harry to shake Harry generously returned the action Wow Harry SO generous of you to shake your friend's hand Also Voldemort visited Hogwarts in a car and sweatpantsChapter 14 Bravely Defeating the Foe Voldemort blinked stupidly again and uestioned evilly Wait this is about my Reddit account? So in the end It turns out the Voldemort is just an internet troll so everyone yells at him and then tries to turn him good via good old prayer but he walks awayAnd the book is FINALLY overOverall This book was a hot steaming mess The grammar and punctuation were awful There were so many inconsistencies The characters were weird The dialogue was awkward This book is truly one of the poorest written things I have ever read No one knows if this is satire or not Either way I say that it's worth a read if you're in the mood to laugh at something so outlandish and dumbHappy reading| Goodreads | Blog | Pinterest | LinkedIn | YouTube | Instagram

  2. says:

    I just LEGIT cannot tell if the author is being ironic intentionally funny or if this is a serious attempt of making Christian Harry PotterAnd I don't know which one I want to be true Update SoooI started reading itI think it's serious Ohno

  3. says:

    I sincerely hope this was a mockery of the intensified beliefs of some Christians If not well I'm going to challenge Grace Ann Parsons to a pray off

  4. says:

    I take off my hat to you dear author Flawless execution You are an icon for satire writers everywhere I'm speechless This was fantastic Impressed readerAnd here are some other reviews from Fanfictionnet that were too entertaining to be lost to oblivionWonky Faint chapter 14 1h agoJust had to elaborate on my praise You outdid yourself with the adverbs in this chapter A most fitting adverbial climax I especially enjoyed how wicked godless and depraved Voldemort was as he departed at the endLoved the first mention of the Reddit account It was where you started to slide the mask off vigorously as the Grace Ann we've all grown to know would probably be too sheltered to know what Reddit is Then Dumbledore's melodramatic godless coven remark was pure gold And then I LOL'd when Harry sniped about Voldie's spelling and grammar Such a wonderful knowing wink to Grace Ann's writingLove how you recognize how both extremes can produce caricatures of themselves And it's interesting to ponder how ready we are to believe that truly extreme views are the norm but yet if you read comments on news you will find that those extreme views do seem to exist out there making your attempt at satire disturbingly possible if not terribly probableLoved that screaming is the work of the Lord Sometimes it does feel like that because you only hear the most vocal proponents and their screaming is what makes them vocal The moderates slip under the radar but hopefully are the normI thought it might be at first but it was too realistic Delightful commenter mocking gold Poe's law isn't it? It's impossible to tell a true extremist zealot from a sophisticated troll? Life imitating artThen you call out your audience How could we have been so drawn in when you weren't being subtle? And you really weren't really subtle at all Except we've all seen someone comment somewhere or we've seen someone on the news who espouses the beliefs Grace Ann expressed Creationists misogynists racists They all exist sometimes bundled into one person It wasn't outside the realm of possibility but it was suspicious that you hit so many hot buttons It should have been obvious and it's a sad commentary on our society that it wasn'tAnd D's observation that it's what most atheists or the reader can substitute Christians in this self conscious concluding chapter are like today Is it or is it just how they are perceived because a few very loud ones are like that? Then you're big reveal which some commenters seem to have missed Not many but there are still a few remarkablyThen the extremist not listening to reason while accusing the opposition of doing the same Not listening at all reallyReally well done You skewered us allGuest chapter 14 4h agoOh my god This was the funniest ending I've ever readThank you for confirming my faith in humanity and that you are a troll and there isn't actually somebody out there who wants to rewrite Harry Potter Also thank you for 'apologizing' through Voldemort for perpetuating stereotypes I enjoyed your story very much and understand why you cut it short Enjoy your life as a troll tips hatBellPo chapter 14 7h agoThat was amazing Bravo Bravo You have successfully trolled everyone and you executed this whole thing flawlessly I tip my hat to youV chapter 14 7h agoOh man i just got so trolled You're a legend You are such a legendGuest chapter 12 8h agoHE DID NOT MISPRONOUNCE THAT'S RIGHT WHAT A SAINTFirechemist chapter 5 7h agoThis surpasses My Immortal by a long shot I couldn't read My Immortal it was worthless BS THIS is masterful satire How the author manages to offend EVERYONE WHO READS IT is totally ingenious atheists Christians career women Evolutionists those averse to chest hair references writers who strive to uphold the sanctity of the English language with all of its properly used semicolons and adverbsAnd then in the last chapter the author throws our own silly indignation back into our facesOMGA genius troll

  5. says:

    I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS ON GOODREADSBest fan fiction everEDITYou should really check out the dramatic readings of this They're so beautiful This is just art

  6. says:

    Oh Dear Darwin No That is all that will be said about this stinking slab of garbage This horrible waste of trees This semicolon overusing vocabulary butchering atheist and Christian bashing woman shaming adjective wasting hunk o' crapola Now excuse me while I burn this horror

  7. says:

    This fanfiction in my opinion is only second to My Immortal in being the best in the world

  8. says:

    Chest Hair

  9. says:

    FolksI have spent two hours reading this and I have not regretted it because Voldemort drives an eco friendly car and apparently that is a bad thingokay proceed at your own risk of brain damage for GOLDEN UOTES such as Truly this woman was a real Proverbs 31 wife straight out of Hogwarts School of Prayers and Miracles▷Wow Harry shouted in awe He was still getting used to the power of prayer Sometimes we take the wonderful things the Lord gives us for granted; and it takes a newcomer to the fold for us to understand just how blessed we are That was amazingHagrid smiled knowingly God is an amazing guy▷Dumbledore introduced magnanimously Harry I would like you to meet Hermione Granger my beloved daughter▷Harry’s aunt had never taught him how to talk to pretty girls She always said that pretty girls were shallow and not very smart and that a real woman put her career first and didn't care about her looks; but it only took one look at this godly young girl to realize just how wrong that was A woman taking pride in her appearance is honoring the Lord; because after all it is the Lord who gave her a pretty face and nice hair Taking care of that is important ▷There is a man named Voldemort who wants to destroy all that we stand for He is pushing an agenda in congress which will stop us from practicing our faith freely▷It will be alright Harry reassured manfully We will just need to pray really really hard That's why we're here after all▷Dumbledore allowed tentatively For instance I am a Gryffindor Hat We believe everything in the Bible; and only the Bible That redheaded roommate of yours is a Slytherin HatAnd Slytherins worship statues? Harry ueried innocently wtf is a slytherin hat▷But wait that is not all Ronald continued excitedly Gryffindor Hats believe in the Bible too But Slytherins have even  We have a book full of guidelines on how to be a good person and a whole panel of Slytherin Hats to tell us what to do▷What do Hufflepuff Hats believe in? Harry pondered aloud Oh how he wanted to find the true HatHufflepuff Hats believe in the Bible; but only some of it Luna explained casually We don't believe in the stuff against fornication and drinking and socialism; but we really like Matthew 71; and that's about it We're really fun and we seem really nice and really tolerant as long as you agree with us▷Please ignore this fool Draco drawled smugly Luna here thinks she can have a career even though she's a woman; and women are stupidHarry gaped at this horrible person What a mean thing to sayWomen shouldn't not have careers because women are stupid Harry shouted indignantly Women are not stupid at all Women should not have careers because women are nurturing and loving and their gifts serve them best in the home▷Well well you should just become a Ravenclaw Hat like me Draco sputtered blusteringly We really are the best HatI think you mean 'We really are the most hateful hat' Harry corrected cleverly; and then he jumped up onto the table; and he got down on his knees; and he raised his hands to the ceiling of the Great Hall; and he bellowed Dear Lord I have made my decision I am a GRYFFINDOR HAT▷Harry had expected his eggs to be cold by now what with all the hullabaloo but lo and behold they were still piping hot He would not pretend that what Ronald believed about worshipping the dead; but he could still offer the young boy friendship in the spirit of Matthew 216 17▷Well Mr Snape said; and he drew his tall strapping form up to its full impressive height There are dark forces in the world; and they do not like Christians And when I say Christians; I mean Gryffindor Hats They love the Hufflepuff Hats; because the Hufflepuff Hats believe everything these people say and slap the label Christian onto that philosophy; and so the Hufflepuff Hats make it easier The Ravenclaw Hats these people claim not to like; but then they pretend that the Ravenclaw Hats' extremism applies to all Christians; so the Ravenclaw Hats help them▷Would you look at that Dean Thomas murmured observantly As he read he whispered the article's terrible words Voldemort was spotted by several students yesterday at Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles This is the man who is trying to put a bill through congress to stop Christians from practicing their beliefs If passed homeschooling will be illegal Christians will be put in jail—maybe even killed—unless they say the Bible says what Voldemort wants it to say Saying Merry Christmas or hanging up the Ten Commandments will put you in a re education program▷Dean Thomas nodded sagely First they try to change the Pledge of Allegiance Now they don't want us to be Christians Next they'll be killing us all It's a bad time to be a true Christian in America▷Harry gritted his teeth He had had enough of this So called feminists these days call everything sexist A man respecting his woman and providing for her and giving her the children and home that she truly desires is called woman hating Such silliness can make us forget what real sexism looks like The truth is women are just as smart as men; and God made us as their euals; but eual does not mean the same; and when we treat men and women as being the same and tell women to go to work all day and forget about her true calling as a wife and mother; then that is the real woman hating And then there are people like Draco who think that God messed up and made women worse than men And neither is okayThat is a mean thing to say Harry screamed bravely and he banged his fists on the table so hard that the plates bounced Draco was being a bully to the ladies▷Harry smiled holily at the sanctimonious fool Draco shook his fist I'll get you for this Potter Tonight after dinner in the courtyard we will have a pray off▷Ronald was starting to ask the big uestions uestions which just might lead him to salvation Just think what would have happened if Harry had not known to love the sin and not the sinner▷Well well Potter Draco drawled smugly Looks like you came to the pray off after allThat's right Harry answered courageouslyWell then Draco grinned self righteously Let's prayHarry and Draco got down on their knees and raised their hands to the skyI'll go first because God loves me best Draco declared confidently With that he shouted Dear Lord if you agree with me that women are stupid and Potter is wrong please strike him down where he kneels▷Harry raised his hands far higher than Draco's had been; and he screamed in a voice far louder than Draco's had been Dear Lord if you agree with me that women are just as good as men but just different please For a second he thought about asking for Draco to be struck down But then he was overcome with mercy Please make him a Gryffindor Hat▷some highlights of the author's note So here is another chapter for all you mommies out there and all you non believers spreading hatred well let's see if you aren't converted by the time this story's over To the people who say that I am spreading hate take a look at some of the comments posted here; saying that I am a terrible writer and a terrible mother whose children will hate her one day Who is it who is spreading hate here? Because I don't think it's meI have good news Starting tonight I will be taking a beginning writer's course at the local community college Through all the hate from Evolutionists Feminists and Romanists there has been some legitimate criticism of my writing skills for some reason the author insisted writing in the consistent form of NounVerbadjective ends in ly in every sentence IN EVERY SENTENCE how could this not be a joke ▷ McGonagall commented daintily Hermione sobbed femininelyHarry ueried uestioninglyHarry reassured manfullyRonald screeched joyouslyreplied Dumbledore knowledgeablyHarry pondered sensitively Dumbledore smiled smartlyDraco chortled pompouslyVoldemort lied dishonestlyVoldemort uestioned hedonisticallyok now I'm at ch10 the author said she took a writing lesson and the mentioned phenomenon had lessened noticeably apparently this is not written as a jokeand she really liked Dean Thomas seeing as Dean Thomas uestioned articulatelyueried coherentlyconcurred intelligentlyobserved accuratelyuttered fluentlyresponded elouentlymurmured observantlynodded sagelycommented perceptivelyAlso she kept calling her Dean Thomas like he's a dean named Thomas ie ‘Harry Hermione Dean Thomas and Ronald all walked solemnly back to the main campus’and That's right Dean Thomas said wisely and not a single word was mispronounced how do you mispronounce That's rightExamples of Hermione depicted as feminine Hermione replied obediently with an innocent girlish smileHermione declared gladly delicate tears streaming down her faceLovely ladylike tears began to roll down Hermione‘s delicate terrified face Finally Voldemort depicted as the sanest person convinced me this is in fact a satirical work of genius trolling Christianity What? I don't hate Christians Voldemort lied dishonestly What are you even talking about? You're still pretending to be dumb the Reverend Dumbledore pointed out truthfully We know all about your plot to illegalize Christianity Voldemort Voldemort blinked stupidly again and uestioned evilly Wait this is about my Reddit account?Author's note at the last chapterMy husband and I had a very long talk last night; and he doesn't think that posting my writing online and going to classes is a good idea for our family It was a hard decision for me to accept; but he does know bestHYSTERICAL

  10. says:

    You can read this if you’re willing to wash your brain with bleach after This is so horribly written and it doesn’t stay consistent The author has a horrendous writers voice and I can’t take any of her authors notes seriously The voice that this sexist mother protrudes is a disgrace to writing I have dabbled in writing and this horrible woman cannot write for the life of her This needs to be erased from humanity DO NOT EVER ATTEMPT TO READ IT

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